Christmas is weird when your mother is Jewish and is divorced from your father who used to be Catholic but converted to Islam, but started celebrating Christmas again when he married a succubus who had also converted to Islam but still celebrates Christmas, so he got you a leather jacket, which would be nice if you weren’t a vegetarian, and you have to drive an hour south to the outlet mall if you want to return it.
Meanwhile, baby Jesus is mad that he’s got hay and a little bit of cow poop in his creases. HAPPY CHRISTMAS, Y’ALL.
